The New Douche Bag?

Today I was at school and I see all these girls who have giant purses. I have no idea why they need to be so big. How much shit do you ladies need to carry on you at all times? I am going to change my last name to Douche and create my own brand of purses. These purses will be the size of suit cases. The commercial will say something in a sleek voice like, "First the purse was made,then the over sized purse,and now to redefine it comes the new bag by Douche.